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why now,.

well iv was doing good not one bit of food past my lips until..
I signed into fb to see a message from a man asking to contact my mum and me an it was my dad, my biological dad that got jailed and left my mum when she was months pregnant so why does he want to speak now after 17 years :S he clearly hasn't cared about me before and it just crushed me seeing it :/
I wish he just never done it cause iv just got over the fact my proper dad didn't want me now he's back great lol
well I ended up eating :/
but not today he is not ruining everything I have done, feel like everything is against me

iv done well today had nothing to eat and I won't I'll be skinny and beautiful soon (:

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iv fasted so far today, lunch in school was a bit tough but I had like water and a cigarette and I got through it, I hope I stick to this I'm so hungry but I can't let hunger keep ne from being thin anymore ..

tonights plan
tidy room
go for bath
paint nails
then sleep cause I'm so tired :/

I can do this (:

any tips on keeping my water fast?
I'm really struggling with it =|

starve on stay strong beautifuls (:

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so hunrey and I'm in school and lunch Is in 5 mins :/ I can do this I can be strong, ill go into lunch hall get water complain about a sore head that I don't even have so I can avoid food and then go for a cigarette (: I really hope I dont fail I havnt even thought about eatin al day till now ooh hod u swear this is my first day of 7 fasting !!!! food will not ruin this !!!

starve on stay strong <3
don't give up what you really want for something you want at that moment (:

love yous xx

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new start

havnt been on in ages cause loads of stuff has been happening and I just havnt had time, I over ate over Xmas but I'm back and tomorrow is day one of no more than 300 cals a day think I'm doing it for a week tosee how it goes(yn ) alsogot the app on my iPod so I'll be posting here atlot more now (:
and I'll be postin Thinspo vids that I make

stay strong beautiful xxxx

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soo goooood =D

the past couple of days iv just been restricting eating once/ twice a day and only eatting low cal foods.
and i feel great =D
i was really wanting to start fasting todayy, im just soooooooooo hungrey right now (N)
i love how great i feelempty as those im light and have nothing pulling me down.ijust hate the hunger it really gets hard.

i was going to get laxitives, diet pill whats the best one?
anyone know one that works realy welll?

alsoiv ran out of multi- vitamins! i must go get some today or tomorrow (i)

Thinspirational Quotes That Have Helped Me!! (my fav ones)

"The satisfation of food never lasts."
"Restricting is a coping mechanism just as much as overeating is. Wouldn't you feel better if you used the coping mechanism that would get you skinny?"
"If you eat, you'll be much sorrier than the eating was a relief."
"Will eating this help me reach my goal?"
"Does this taste good enough to be worth the calories?"
"Never give up what you want most for what you want at the moment."
"Craving is only a feeling."
"Hunger is taught and can be unlearned."
"Eat to live, but don't live to eat."
"Everything that ever goes wrong for you in your life is because you're fat."
"Failure is taking the path that everyone else takes, success is making your own path."
"Hunger is your friend and it won't betray you like food."
"How many fat actresses do you see? Or models? Or singers?"
"In the body, perfection is attained not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to remove."
"I have a rule when I weigh myself; if I've gained, I don't eat for the rest of the day; If I've lost, I don't eat for the rest of the day."
"I've freed myself from this compulsion of eating. When I wake, I am empty, light, light-headed; I like to stay this way, free and pure, light on my feet, traveling light. For me, food's only interest lies in how little I need, how strong I am, how well I can resist-each time acheiving another small victory of the will: one carrot instead of two, half a cracker, no more peas. Each gain makes me stronger, purer, larger in my exercise of power, until eventually I see no reason to eat at all."
"Everything I want to be is merely buried under a layer of fat."
"If I eat anything, I'll eat everything, so I'll eat nothing."
"Of course it's hard. If it was easy, everyone would do it."

1. make everything you try on look awesome.
2. constant compliments on how great you look.
3. make girls jealous of you.
4. make girls envy you.
5. when someone lifts you wont here them say "god you're heavy".
6. being the thinnest of all your friends.
7. being admired for your control.
8. wont have to hide under baggy clothes anymore.
9. can try swimsuits on WITHOUT the whole crying incident.
10. can actually go to a pool party/beach in a two piece && know people arent staring at the blubber-tard.
11. can change infront of your friends.
12. clothes fit better.
13. can wear short shirts to show off your tiny stomach.
14. people wont call you fat anymore or make "jokes" about you.
15. when they're tlking about fat people...they wont be able to look at you.
16. be able to wear flats again! cus you wont look wide.
17. be able to wear a skirt because NO MORE THUNDER THIGHS!
18. can actually wear horizontal stripes... yes?
19. wear skinny jeans and make them look good.
20. can sit on someones lap without breaking them in half.
21. being the one that gets approached with compliments instead of your best friend.
22. maybe getting noticed and asked to model?
23. can sit on someones shoulders and not your dads like when you were 2.
24. no cellulite.
25. no wings.
26. who wears short shorts? now you can answer that with an "i do."
27. make people stare && ponder "whos the skinny gorgeous girl with the big sunglasses".
28. make the people who hurt you feel fat and ugly and stupid.
29. FINALLY confidence!
30. can get a boyfriend.
31. let someone hold you by the waist without constant fear of them saying something about the love handles.
32. wen you look in the mirror... you wont feel like crying.
33. have people say "you look too thin" i LOVE that.
34. not have to suck in the tummy anymore.
35. feel happy, beautiful, gorgeous, satisfied... you're thin

yestarday was bad i binged like sooo much stuff =\
then to make it worse my bf started and argument and we were almost broke up (N)

but today....
we made up(well we'r talking and working things out)
and i felt amasing :d, like pressure had been taking from me and i felt so happy =D

i was suposed to water fast but iv had...

soup and an oakcakesonomore than 300 cals (:
and i went to zumba which is a workout class so iv burned it all away =D

im watching "the girl that never ate"  this is sick but its really motiating me to keep going, the girl hasamasing will power, its just sad cause she is so young (N)

im so worried i eat in school cause its so hard at lunch not to, and also incase my tummy grumbles cause peoplewill ask why im not getting anything to eat if my tummy is making noice =\,anyone know a way to stop it making a hunger noice?

hope yuus are doing great <33 xx

day 2....

i was doing welll thought i only had 500 cals (todays limit) but i have 550 =\
but its okaii i suposecould of been worseeee (yn)

now im going todo an aerobic's workout that lasts half an hour, then some toning stufff =D
workout for a total of 1 hour and 30 minsss =D
then go fora run laterrrr

imfeeling really good considering i went over =D

love yuu's all <3
staystrong <3

day one = perfect

just to say I DONE IT!!!!
no food atall today and now im going to sleep (:

ihope tomorrow is as good (yn)

stay strong, starve on <333

need to get busy..

i was hoping i would sleep till after dinner time but i havnt (N)
atleast iv missed lunch and breakfast (yn)

and i will take my dinner into my room and put it straight into the bin and take the bin outsiide when i walk the dog later (i)
day one has gone soo good tbh :S
no cravings or hunger pains or tummy rumbling!!!!!!
im liking it  =D
just need to get reallllly busy to keep it that way!

nothing tastes as good as thin feels xD
dont give up what yuu want most; for something yuu want at that moment <3

love yuu beautifuls <333

morning of day 1.

decided to fast today instead of ABC i feel horrible and fat and dont want to eat atalll!!!!
its like 7am, and i havnt slept yet =D so im thinking go to bed between 9 and 11?
then i wont get up till way after dinner time (im not doing anything atall all day)  and i never eat at night or get cravings so its perfect :)

basically..waste time sleeping and when i do wake up im going to sort out my clothes cause there all messy and half hung up lmfaoo!, then bath and then spend the night or eairly morning on this (:

which is good that i will sleep most of the day cause the first day is the worse tbh (N)
thank god im sleeping through alot of it =D ahah